Can I offer you a different take on this quote? What’s preventing your idea from blossoming is that you won’t start, believing in yourself, that is.
I suspect that even Langston understood this sentiment. Think about what he went through to get his literary ideas published in the early 20th century. And I betcha he believed in his prose 100%!
For a while, I had a hard time accepting my own capability, intelligence, and value during the first iteration of GoneGirlGo because:
- I let tasks that I thought were insurmountable crush my spirit.
- I allowed the good intentions of others cloud my judgment about the direction I should take.
- I decided that it was way more important and easier to help other people with their projects.
Maybe you can relate.
Why is this so hard for us?
What happened that caused us to question if we have what it takes?
Why do many of us succumb to negative thinking about ourselves and what we can potentially accomplish?
Once I realized this, I decided to do something about it. One of the things that I started to do was counter my negative thinking with positive thinking. I uttered positive statements to myself like,
“I can accomplish this hard task.”
“I’m getting clear about what I want to do.”
“My project is important and significant to me.”
Not believing in myself and embracing self-doubt was not only debilitating, it unfortunately demonstrated ungratefulness. I essentially relinquished the gifts that were given to me and disregarded the influence of my contribution to the planet. There’s more that I’d like to say about this, but for now, this is enough. I’m just glad to be back on the right path because I’ve wasted enough time already.
Girl, let’s stop wasting time and give ourselves some credit. We want our ideas to blossom, right? So let’s explore a few effectual actions that just might help.
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#1. Accept failure and missteps as part of the process.
In order for us to be transformed continually, we’ll have to fail and make a few missteps with the understanding that they are for our benefit. Failure and missteps can make room for another perspective that can lead to a better solution. They can also bring about perseverance and stronger character. Arianna Huffington, the co-founder of the Huffington Post is the perfect example of someone who learned to accept failure after her 2nd book was rejected by 36 publishers.
#2. Stop thinking that you’re an impostor.
How many of us suffer from the impostor syndrome? For whatever reason we think that we’re frauds and that someone will find us out. No matter how successful we are, we believe that we don’t know what we’re doing and therefore, do not deserve any recognition. How to Get Rid of Impostor Syndrome offers some insight into this ailment that many of us suffer from.
#3. Speak positively about yourself and situation.
As I mentioned earlier, we have to learn how to counter negative self talk with positive. Let’s pay attention to what we utter to ourselves and beg to differ with that sentiment. But let’s be honest. It’s hard to silence the inner critic. Nilofer Merchant says it best in The First Step to Being Powerful because our “outer critics are always chiming in.” Her advice is golden. “If you can’t silence it, make peace with it… listen to it and make a plan based on what you [sic] learn.”
#4. Learn to toot your own horn.
During a workshop I conducted a couple of years ago, I asked a group of women why they had a problem with tooting their own horn. Their responses were:
- I don’t want to seem boastful.
- I don’t have anything to toot about.
- I don’t know how to toot.
- I don’t care about tooting.
I suspect that those of us who believe that tooting our horn is arrogance, and those of us who possess extreme self-doubt, or lack of confidence aren’t good at talking about ourselves and our accomplishments because someone told us that it was wrong. Check out Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It by Peggy Klaus to learn about the art of self-promotion.
#5. Listen to your brother or another trusted companion.
There are people in our lives who we trust with everything that we have. Our trusted companions usually recognize our strengths and see qualities in us that we don’t see in ourselves. They tell us what we are capable of. We may find it difficult to believe them or perhaps find a way to start believing in ourselves because they do. I love how My Brother’s World of Adventure illustrates what a trusted companion can do for us.
These 5 actions sound simple enough, I know, but I also know that mustering up the courage to test them out may be a challenge for some.
Dig a little deeper and reflect on this post in your journal.
- What happened that caused you to question if you have what it takes?
- Which of these 5 actions will you test?
- Are there others actions not mentioned that you might try?
Of course, you can comment below or on the GoneGirlGo Facebook page, or email me for an intimate conversation.
You can also grant yourself permission to start believing in yourself, okay? Download this permission slip, fill it out, and post it somewhere you’ll see it often. Oh and make sure to get a trusted companion to be a witness for you.
Go on, girl. You can do it.
