Julie emailed me a last week in response to Lying to Yourself is Actually the GOAT Obstacle. I posted the wisdom message above on Facebook and Instagram last week. It’s a perfect description of what Julie has gone through and what I went through launching Idea to Profit as well as GoneGirlGo.

I never gave much thought to the idea that wisdom is earned. But I guess it’s something that you do work for. And the best way to work for it is by experience.

Our exchange is below. I hope it speaks you.

Hi Zoe,

I am so glad a friend suggested I check out your blog. You are fulfilling a very big need in today’s world, especially for smart, creative women who have ideas but need inspiration, direction, and most of all, permission to get started.

So I am one of those people that actually did take the leap to get my ideas off the ground. I took a certification course to become a health coach, I left my 9-5 job, I hired two coaches to help me with marketing and coaching and I was unable to make it a success. Looking back on it now, I think there were several reasons why I didn’t succeed: 1) I tried to start too big, 2) I was coaching around the wrong topic and 3) I was meant to move to California, far away from the constrictions that I felt in my home state of Indiana.

So, I quit trying to build my business, I moved to San Diego, CA, and I started to look for a regular 9-5 job out here. Trouble is, I haven’t found one yet and it’s been almost a year. I have ideas, yes, but how do I take that leap again when I didn’t make a success of it (and heck, I didn’t even ENJOY it)? How do I start a business with the only money in the bank being my 401K that I’ve already dipped into? How do I know this time will be different?

Of course, I think I know the answer to that last question – I don’t know that it will be different. That’s life – uncertainty, uncertainty, uncertainty!

Flailing around in Southern Cali,

Julie

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Hi Julie!! I’m glad that you’re friend suggested my blog to you too!! It’s so refreshing and insightful to learn about the amazing women who read the blog and their stories. You’re definitely one of them!

So you took the leap, huh, and didn’t produce the results that you had hoped for? Sounds like it was a disheartening moment for you. I struggle with the fear of taking the leap, that’s why I work a 9-5 job, while building gonegirlgo into a business. I haven’t set a goal or made plans yet to take the leap. I’m not convinced yet if I should. Anyway, enough about me, let’s get back to you.

I see so many little nuggets in what you’ve shared

• Although not what you expected, your experience is golden. I recently posted on IG and FB this quote, “This best wisdom is earned through experience, particularly mistakes.” You now have wisdom about what not to do, something you didn’t have before taking the leap.

• Along with that, I admire your self-awareness and the fact that you identified 3 reasons why you didn’t succeed. They have nothing to do with anyone else but you, which means to me, there’s room for you to grow and get back on the wagon, if it’s something that you still want to do.

• You’re a risk-taker unlike a lot of us who can’t handle the thought of leaving the corporate world let alone moving across the country.

• Despite what others (your family and friends) might say about quitting your business, you did anyway. Brave soul. Many of us would’ve continued so that we didn’t appear to be failures to others, even though we were failing anyway.

I know  you want answers and I’m not certain that my answers will help you. When you need to eat and pay bills, it’s hard to listen to pie-in-the-sky advice. But I’ll try anyway…

What if you approached your “business idea” like a project? Instead of investing lots of resources and money in it like you did previously, invest just enough so that you won’t feel it so much. If you looked at as a project or experiment, maybe the pressure of starting a business wouldn’t be so great. Plus, you can ease your way through learning what you want to do, how you want to do it, and who you should do it for.

Marie Forleo recently talked about getting motivated again after not seeing results and I agree with her. To stay motivated (or get motivated again), focus on the action and not the result. I started doing this regarding my self-care routine, particularly working out. I don’t work out because I want to lose weight. That’s not my goal. My goal is to experience movement in my body because I realize that’s what my body was designed to do. So I make sure that I move everyday! I actually jump rope everyday 500x and guess what!! I love it and I’m seeing results. They’re not massive results, but I know that my body is different and I feel good.

Why do something that you don’t enjoy? If you don’t enjoy it, how will you muster up the wherewithal to make it happen or be effective? I wrote about my non-negotiable checklist a while ago where I identify 3 things that must be in place for me to make an idea blossom.  1.) It has to contribute to the growth and development of others, including myself. 2.) It has be fun for me to do. 3.) It has to allow me to express my creativity. If the idea doesn’t meet these 3 conditions for success, I won’t do it. Maybe you can come up with you own non-negotiables and evaluate your idea based on them.

Honestly, you don’t know if this time will be different. I said the same thing when I relaunched GoneGirlGo I was so afraid of quitting, running out of steam, and flailing again (This feeling doesn’t go away, but I’ve learned to step over it.) But I’m shifting my mindset so that I create the life that I want and gonegirlgo is the path that I believe is leading me there. And the journey itself is so good to me and I’m not making a dime doing this!

I hope my words touch you and I pray that you get all of your needs met, from immediate income to finding the path that you’re supposed to be on.

Seems to me you’re doing way more than flailing.

God bless

Zoe

PS – I’d love to share this email exchange with the readers. I understand if you aren’t good with that. But your story, I believe will help someone.

Thanks again for sharing – xoxo

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Zoe,

I can’t thank you enough for sharing your time, your wisdom, your honesty and your experience. It means a lot to me.

Thank you for sharing that you are working a job while building your business. At 54, I don’t know if I have the energy or motivation to do both anymore. However, I liked your idea of making it a project, instead of a full blown business endeavor, at first. That makes a lot of sense to me. I have already started blogging a bit more and am considering writing a white paper on political issues, so I am taking that notion to heart.

I also loved using a checklist as a barometer and I will certainly come up with my own. It is a wise idea. I especially agree with you that it has to be fun. I really disliked a lot of the ways I was trying to build my business before, so it is no wonder that I wasn’t as successful as I had wanted to be. I won’t make that mistake again. 

You can certainly share my story and any content from our emails. I am all about helping others through experience. 

Thank you for your response from the bottom of my heart. Your words were very relevant and useful, and I will keep them close and re-read them frequently as I continue to consider my future. 

Love and light,
Julie 

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I’m all smiles over here in Cleveland and can’t wait to find out how it all unfolds for you. Again, I call you brave soul because you’ve done something that many of us are afraid to do. And thanks for letting me post our exchange. It’ll be published tomorrow.

Best

Zoe